oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
