Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You know, be my cock's hype man.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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