did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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