Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
