Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
