chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
