I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
