I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
