Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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