I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize