Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
