absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
