is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
