My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
