wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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