How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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