ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What a dumb baby whore.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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