They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
