imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Your topless pictures make me question reality
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
