I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize