Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
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I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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