so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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