yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
