By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
