We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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