Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
