goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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