I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize