did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
