her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
