I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
