chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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