i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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