My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
