It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The power of my boobs compel you
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
