im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
