Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
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wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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