I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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