Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
