perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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