Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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