Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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