Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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