So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
