Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dating After Heartbreak
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.