he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket