Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.