Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
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Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob