Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
