So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
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Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
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Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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