alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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