party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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