i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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