i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
