That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
