I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
