your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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