The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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