I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
